If Not, He Is Still Good

There is a giant chalk board in my house that sits on the cabinet between our dining room and kitchen. It is as tall as me and has enough room to fit a month’s worth of memories, but instead it simply reads “If not, He is still good.”

I love that chalk board. It is a consistent reminder to me of who God is. He is good. In joy and in disappointments, he is good.

I read the story of the prodigal son today for the hundredth time and felt my heart tear open again. I see so many things in that story. I see my brother, the literal prodigal in our family, and the hope that he, too, will return home. I see myself, chasing so many earthly things and finding them unfulfilling, till famine drives me back home. And I see my Father, running to greet me and welcome me home. I heard years ago that in ancient Jewish culture it was highly disgraceful for a man of such an age to run, and I have thought ever since of how that father forsook his dignity to receive his lost son, now found. What a picture of Jesus.

Today my heart caught at a different place in the story. Today, I saw myself glowering on the porch, refusing to celebrate for the sake of my own perceived justice. My Father sits next to me and pleads “Daughter, come inside. Come celebrate with us.” And all I can say is “Where’s my fatted calf?”

Why is my brother - who squandered his wealth - receiving that success, that friendship, that marriage? Where’s my portion?

And he listens and gently but firmly responds “Everything that’s mine is yours.”

What need have I for those things? Everything that is his is mine. My inheritance is him. My portion is Christ.

I asked for the fatted calf. He gave me himself instead. If not, he is still good, because he is Goodness embodied.

Sometimes I look at that chalk board and I think of Esther. “If I perish, I perish.”

I think of three young boys, refusing to worship an earthly king. “God will deliver us. But If not, we will burn.”

What these heroes of our faith were really saying is the same refrain. “If not, he is still good.” God delivered those saints, but if he hadn’t? If he hadn’t, His name would still have been glorified and they would go home one day sooner.

Today I looked at that chalk board and thought of Jesus. “Father, if it be possible let this cup pass from me, yet not my will, but yours.” Jesus suffered the "if-not" to give us access to the "still-good.” Oh, my ever sympathetic high priest.

The if-nots and the even-thoughs are not glamorous, but they are glorious. We could serve a God who leaves us on the porch, but he doesn’t. Instead he sits next to us and pleads “Son, Daughter, why are you downcast? Come, celebrate with us. For your brother who was dead is now alive! Come, celebrate with us, everything I have is yours. Come, celebrate with us, you are my beloved son. You are my beloved daughter. Only, come inside.”